The NFL and Twitter are both horrible and wonderful so it should stand to reason that when the two forces combine, they result in something that is both beautiful and stupid.
Enter, NFL Twitter Emojis.
These, much like World Cup “Hashflags,” bring a sense of joy and whimsy into a timeline usually dominated by Death, Destruction, Deportation & Donald (these things are not mutually exclusive). The NFL has revealed their latest batch of official emojis. Some of them are fine. Some of them are dumb as hell. All of them will be evaluated by me.
In the words of the Steeler’s official hashtag emoji, “#HereWeGo”
Ones Not Worth Talking Much About Other Than To Say They Are Fine And Suitably Utilitarian
- #Seahawks – It’s worth noting that the Seahawks are using their dumb new alternate logo for this emoji and squashed into a tiny size suitable for Twitter, it looks like a frog you would lick in case you wanted to trip balls.
One That Is In Bad Taste
- #KeepPounding – I’ve always found it strange that a league which routinely mishandles legal situations, particularly domestic violence, would use this hashtag for the second year in a row, but again, I am not a scientist.
Ones That Even I, With My Cold Black Heart, Find Cool
- #HTTR – It is cool when teams have official rallying cries. I am not above thinking this. It should be noted that Washington is a pile of trash, otherwise.
- #Skol – A lot of people bring chewing tobacco to Bruins games, which I don’t get. Stop being such a baby and just smoke a cigarette. Anyway, actual Vikings used to chant this to urge their fellow Vikings to kill their enemy so they could drink beer from their skull. This is unquestionably badass. Try to think of this the next time you see Sam Bradford.
Ones That Contradict Each Other
- #GiantsPride – Wow, way to cuck the Lions.
One That I Originally Thought Was Boring But Then I Thought Of A Joke For It Two Minutes Ago
- #Bengals50 – A nice way to pay tribute to Andy Dalton’s Playoff QBR
Ones That Literally Makes No Sense
- #RavensFlock – OK, idiots, a group of more than one raven is not called a flock. It’s actually called an Unkindness or a Conspiracy of Ravens. Holy hell, that is cool. Unfortunately searching #RavensConspiracy just brings up a bunch of people trying to find Ray Lewis’ suit that vanished the night of that murder. Too bad.
- #ChiefsKingdom – If only there was some word to signify what the leader of a Kingdom would be….. I don’t know, maybe a Kingdo or something? I’ll get back to you.
Ones That Are Dumb But Boring
- #BroncosCountry – Not to get political, but fuck the Broncos
Ones That Are Dumb But Excitingly So
- #BeRedSeeRed – What the fuck does this mean?
- #HereWeGo – This is what Patriots Wide Receivers say to each other when they line up against the Steelers’ secondary.
- #InBrotherhood – This is unconscionably stupid. Name one tweet that this would make sense in? “Field Goal is wide left. #InBrotherhood” “Matt Ryan fumbles at the 25-yard-line. #InBrotherhood”. “The Falcons blew a 25 point lead. #InBrotherhood”